Summertime Sadness

I love summer. It’s my favourite season but these past two summers haven’t been that joyous. I’ve been feeling a lot of sadness. The start of this summer seemed like a promising summer but now it’s on pause.I hope that it is able to improve for the better shortly.

I often find it difficult to make decisions so I used to ask people for their advice and if I don’t like or want to do their suggestions, I ask another person until I get the response I’m looking. The people I asked advice for basically “co-signed” for my non-sense. If something bad happened after I took “their’ advice I would mentally blame them for what happened.

I realized that what I was doing wasn’t healthy. I am trying to strengthen my own problem solving.skills and to not get mad at other people.

I need to focus on what’s best for me. Not what other people think I should do. I must believe in myself that I am capable to see what it is right and what is wrong. I am the only who can determine exactly how I feel despite that there are times where I don’t even know how I feel. Which is something else I am trying to work on.

But something that I have learnt is that it takes sadness to appreciate the happy moments. And I understand that after feeling sadness I can be ready to experience happiness.

Today, I will allow myself to stop and to think carefully about what to do. I will allow myself as much time as I need to think about what truly is best for me. After all I am the one who has to walk in these shoes.

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