Regrets

I know that it is best to let go of the past and to have any regrets but sometimes I allow myself to get too caught up with the past. It’s the feeling of being stranded in quick sand where you let your past consume and there’s no escape

I’m not talking about my regrets with people it’s just I didn’t get the opportunity to wholly express myself to people whom I care a lot about. I had many opportunities to but choose not to say anything. I knew that I wanted to say was meaningful but for some reason my words were just unable to reach the surface.

I know and have accepted that everything happens for a reason. I understand that. But it’s just at times the reason is unclear. I don’t mean to dwell in all of this uncertainty and confusion.

I didn’t reveal all of my thoughts because of fear. I didn’t want to say something that would negatively effect my rapports with others. I am a very communicative person who loves to talk but for some reason I left a lot of words unsaid. And that saddens me that I didn’t express myself to my full capability.

And now I don’t know if the opportunity would arise again or if it is gone forever.

Today, I will release all thoughts that I am feeling and leaving nothing unsaid. Although I would only embrace my positive thoughts and not the ones that will harm others.

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Daily Reading

*Note I’m only revealing my own identity and no one else’s.

Today’s reading from my Al-Anon book, One Day At A Time (which offers a reading for everyday of the year) to remind you of the Al-Anon philosophy and slogans.

For anyone who doesn’t know what Al-Anon is, it is a fellowship for those who have lived or live with active¬†alcoholism and/or addiction (the two often go hand in hand). There are meetings where the person who has been affected by someone’s addiction and or alcoholism can go to get the support from other people who have lived or live with this. And together we can give each other hope and optimism that things will get better.

Let go of your negativity that weighs you down so your butterfly wings can take you far.

But today’s reading really relates to what I am dealing with…

“When our problems enclose us and saturates our thoughts, we find ourselves in an isolation that gives us an acute sense of loneliness. We may confide in friends, but underneath we feel nobody understands what we are going through.

Dwelling on our troubles only shuts out a world that is waiting to be enjoyed. Nothing has real power to deprive us of the delights to be found in many daily experiences – even a routine household task, well done. For those of us who are fortunate enough to have young lives in our care, we can forget our troubles in devoting loving attention to them and their development. Observing our children is like reading a fascinating and often amusing book!

Today’s Reminder

I may have big troubles but I can, if I will, make them less painful by turning my thoughts to happier things. I will not isolate myself in my problems. I will observe and enjoy what is good and pleasant in the world around me.

‘Let me not deprive myself of the many little joys that are mine for the taking.'”

-One Day At A Time

Learning On the Journey

Today I spent some¬†time making plans to improve myself time. I learnt that you don’t need to spend a lot of time and energy to change yourself. Don’t expect change to happen overnight. It’s a daily practice. It takes one step after another to run a marathon. Start slowly and then build momentum.

Today, I will find one way to change my life.

A Lesson

“Nothing will ever go away until it has taught us what we need to know.”

-Pema Chodron

The lesson that I am having difficulties with is to “Just breathe” and staying calm.When things become stressful I often feel overwhelmed. I am a people pleaser so I feel like everything has to be perfect.

I need to work on relaxing and accepting that everything will be okay.

Today, I will let go all of my worries and doubts and believe in myself.

A Leap of Faith

After having breakfast with my boyfriend, he left for work which meant that I got to spend time with his ma, sister and her boyfriend.

She is planning on pursing post-secondary school and it made me think about my future goals.

I was browsing through the program options and it inspired me to really start saving up for college. I have already started but now I would love to pursue my dream.

Today, I learnt to believe in myself and to trust my journey. I will always strive for my dreams no matter what.

Success

My mom found this piece of paper somewhere in her room…

Success

There’s no thrill in easy sailing

When the skies are clear and blue.

There’s no joy in merely doing that

Which anyone else can do.

But there is some satisfaction

Which is mighty sweet to take,

When you reach a destination

Which you thought you couldn’t make.

Dare to Try Something New

I always enjoy trying a new food, a new hobby.

I seek adventure – well a safe adventure that is. I am striving towards overcoming my fears and learning to not be afraid. I am learning to be brave and trusting my instincts.

Today, I trust myself to make good decisions and to not to be scared to try something new.

Stop Fretting

I have learnt that is never a good idea to worry. But I still do.

I try my best to not worry but I find it unbearable at times. I’m a people-pleaser. I feel like I have to go that extra mile to impress others. If these people aren’t impressed then I feel like I let them down.

I like everything to be done a certain way. I love things to be in order.

But as of lately I have been trying to break free from these thinking habits. I need to learn that nothing good can come from worrying. It’s best to find tranquility. Everything happens as it happens, no need to stress.

Let it all go and be thankful.

Daily Affirmations Are Powerful

I am a strong believer in daily affirmations. After breakfast I read my daily readings which broadens my thoughts about hope and faith in myself.

We were really busy at work today. Even though I hate to admit this but I am one who has a difficult time dealing with stress. I kept repeating to myself; “Just breathe… Just breathe… Just breathe…”

Everything worked out and I was so proud of myself. Even my boss told me he was proud of me. I had a great day.

I will continue to remind myself of positive affirmations.