Day 64

On Friday, it felt like my world shattered. It really reminded me that; “Life turns on a dime.” -Stephen King,

“Life turns on a dime. Sometimes towards us, but more often it spins away, flirting and flashing as it goes: so long, honey, it was good while it lasted, wasn’t it?”

-Stephen King, 11/22/63

I received a message from my Dad that my Grandpa (his Dad) was rushed to the hospital since he has the pneumonia. I was crying because I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. Out of all of my Grandparents, he was the one I was closest with. I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to live in a world that he doesn’t exist anymore.

I thought back to all of the memories we have shared. And now I just pray and hope that he can get better. Where he lives he isn’t allowed to have any visitors or leave to visit others. So I haven’t seen him in a year, which is obviously the longest I have ever gone without seeing him. So I would call every little while to keep him company. I just would love to talk to him a couple more times.

At the same time, I feel fortunate enough to have had my Grandpa in my life this long. I am almost 27 years old, that makes me feel really lucky.

Today, I will soak in and relish all of the good memories I have. You never know when things in your life can change. Enjoy the goodness in your life. Use them as a reflection for when things go in life. Surround yourself with people who you love, and love you. They are what you need to overcome anything bad. Remember to always live your life to the fullest. Enjoy the company, and enjoy the ride.

Day 58

For my new followers, thank you for your support. I appreciate the love, and kind words. Every day, I write about life lessons that I have either learned from the day, or sometime throughout my life. I was inspired by Melody Beattie’s book The Language of Letting Go. It’s a book about her daily meditation on codependency. Although her book is focused on codependency, her mediation can be applied to other aspects of anyone’s lives. This is a lesson from Saturday.

My boyfriend’s birthday was on Sunday, so I was trying to paint him a cool picture. The problem is I am a terrible artist, or so I thought that was the problem… But I had this cool image of just what my painting should look like, but sadly that was not the case. I was trying to blend two paints together. It was supposed to be an ocean, so I was going to start the painting with a light blue, and was supposed to blend a darker blue. It was supposed to give an illusion that the water was getting deeper. I couldn’t blend it in nicely. I was telling my boyfriend that I was having a hard time blending the two colours together. My boyfriend tried, and he is more artistic than me. He tried, and he said, that it’s because we don’t have fancy paint brushes. We bought ours at the dollar store, so they aren’t top quality.

I gave up and just painted the mini canvas with a blue, and wrote; “Sending you an ocean of Love”. I used red paint for love, and yellow for the rest. I handed my painting to my boyfriend, and he loved it.

I have learned that we are our worst critics. We often doubt our abilities, and we can say mean stuff to ourselves, when we really shouldn’t. We should learn to be more compassionate to ourselves. We wouldn’t be saying mean things to our friends, or family members. So why we think it is okay to say these things to ourselves?

Today, I will try and remove any hate, and hurtful things that I say to myself. Instead I will try to provide myself with love, and compassion. I will learn to work on being so hard on myself. I wouldn’t say anything mean to my friends, or family, so why should I say hateful things to myself? I need to practice self love, and love myself, for my flaws, and mistakes.