A Year in My Life

I wish I could say that this past year has been easy, but truthfully it has been the most extricating, difficult year that I had went through in a very long time. I have experience the loss of many things and people. My world fell apart like a supernova. It all began when my Grandpa passed away last March. His passing broke me, I remember spending days curled up in my bed, crying, and being sad for days on end. I have been replaying a lot of our memories in my head. I have a lot of pictures that I look at when I miss him.

He truly was an amazing person. Everyone loved him and he was everyone’s best friend. He is so missed, but he is forever in my heart. I think about him all of the time.

I had tried taking on a retail job. I have normally just done jobs in the food industry, so it was difficult in the beginning. After months, I have been managing just fine. I have worked a few retail jobs before, so I have been using the skills to my new job. I have actually met some really nice people there. It was a hard adjustment, but now I feel like I can get in the swing of things.

And then unfortunately I experienced another loss when my aunt passed away a few months ago. I miss her so much. I feel bad because I haven’t had many chances to see her recently since the whole covid situation. She passed away so unexpectedly. I always wished I was able to spend more time with her before she passed away. But unfortunately that is life. We all have one last day with everyone, we just never know when that might happen. That is why it is important to stay in touch with the people that matter the most. It should also reinforce us to be kind to each other, since we don’t know what our last words may be to someone.

And another loss that I faced last year, was when my boyfriend and I broke up. We still talk from time to time, we don’t hate each other. We are able to be civil about it.

So this explains why I haven’t been that active in the blog universe.

Although the one good thing about last year is that I was able to reconnect with one of my friends from many years ago. I am happy that the universe decided to bring someone that can bring joy in my life despite taking away people. That is the universe’s way of taking the good with the bad.

After all of the losses I had suffered last year, I truly hope that 2022 is the year for me. Things aren’t exactly perfect right now. But I pray for guidance, and for the strength to not allow myself to stay broken. I will try to rebuild myself so I can come back stronger than ever. My life has been so messy and complicated right now, but what matters is how I rebuild myself after these losses. I have big goals for myself. I am excited for all of the things I have planned to do this year. Of course, I would be documenting my goals and dreams on my blog. I do wish to blog more again.

I truly miss all of you. I hope everyone has been doing well. I appreciate any words of feedback, love and prayers. I will try to get back to everyone who comments. Thank you again for understanding.

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Pandemic

I can’t believe that we are near the end of 2020. 18 days left. I’ve been trying my hardest to make the best of the situation of what the year has thrown at us.

The whole Covid-19 pandemic has taught me valuable lessons such as, make time for what matters, don’t procrastinate, and always be grateful. Mind you I did have a grasp of these concepts but this reminded me to enforce these ideas even more.

One of the negatives from the viruses, is that they have been many families who have lost loved ones from the virus. My heart goes out to everyone who is hurting. Things might not get easier, but one thing for sure is that we do stronger. I am so thankful for the health workers and everyone who is at the front lines battling this disease.

Although I feel sad, because it seems to me, like a lot of people are divided over this virus. Mostly because there are people who think this is a hoax. And these people are calling the ones that do believe in this virus mean names. I don’t like how people have become divided on the topic. I wished that this would have brought us closer together (well, from six feet apart). We really do need to work together on this to help each other.

This virus has helped others focus on their mental health, which is something that we don’t always talk about enough. But it allowed others to seek help, they might not have if it weren’t for the virus. It allowed us to finally put our mental health as a priority.

It has given me more time to truly wonder what I want to do with my life. I always dreamt of being my own boss, by wanting to be a writer, and blogger. But I also want to be a psychologist to help people as well. I believe that we all have the power to make better choices.

One of the benefits from Covid-19, is that I am a bit scared of germs, so I have always been cautious of germs. I do feel a bit relieved that now I am not the only one that is taking precautions when it comes to germs. I felt like people have always made fun of me, behind my back, and sometimes even to my face. And now it is a nice situation where people are now more cautious. I just hate the circumstances of what held to these events. But there are measures in place to ensure we are all safe, or at least the safest we can be.

I have always been worried about germs since, as long as I can remember. It stemmed from childhood. When I move, I prefer to spend time cleaning my new space before I move my belongings in. When I moved in with my boyfriend, and his family, that was a big adjustment to me. I only felt comfortable washing my dishes. These habits do cause me to feel stress. I do have a lot of struggles adapting to new things and places. All we can do is learn to take things one day at a time.

Another benefit of the pandemic is that it really showed me what I really want to do in my life. I learned that I don’t want to work for someone else’s dream. I want to work on my dream. My dream is to be a writer, and a blogger. I know my chances are making it big, and famous are probably just one percent, but some other famous person had the same thought, and yet they ended up fulfilling their goals. As am I.

“With everything that has happened to you, you can feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

-Dr. Wayne Dyer

Thankful Thursday #19

Hey everyone! Welcome to another edition of Thankful Thursday!

This is where I round up all of the things I am thankful for throughout the week. I encourage you all to take a few minutes, to really think about what you are grateful during this this week.

1. My boyfriend and I spent a lot of time over the weekend watching horror movies, and football. Which are two of my favourite things to watch.
2. I got to babysit my niece while my sister got her hair done.
3. These past few days, and the upcoming weekend is going to be beautiful – nice and warm. Normally we are experiencing cool, cloudy days, so these are great days to enjoy outside before the snow comes.
4. I’m glad my boyfriend is feeling better, the past two days he wasn’t feeling well, none of which are covid-19 symptoms related.
5. Because he wasn’t feeling well, he didn’t go to work, which gave us some extra time to hang out. I got to take care of him.

I would love to know what everyone is thankful for.

Ripple Effects of the Pandemic

I haven’t really vocalized much about the whole coronavirus, and the ripple effects it has caused us. But here is a snippet of my thoughts about it. I will be mentioning mental health crises, so that may be a trigger to others, but it does provide a powerful message to others.

The pandemic has thrown quite a wrench into 2020. It hasn’t just effected our economy, but it has dramatically effected our mental health. Between the lockdown, and having people in quarantine, it definitely has made people feel lonely. A lot of retirement homes were no longer allowing visitors in, our Grandparents and parents must be so lonely. So if you have family in retirement homes, and you can’t visit them, call them instead.

Not only has it made people feel lonely, but depressed, and unworthy.

But I was thinking about this other serious situation at the start of the the lockdowns was that people were going to stay in their houses more, and not have many places to go. I feared that many people were going to suffer in silence and continue to get abused. It would be easier for the people whom abused others to “get away” with it, since there wasn’t much happening in the world. I feel for every victim out there who has been suffering. I send you my love and healing powers, so you can get better.

I was reminded about this issue again, when Dr. Phil did an episode about survivors of abuse. I wasn’t able to watch that episode, but I did watch a video of what Dr. Phil was thinking about during the interview.

Something that Dr. Phil said was, “law enforcers only know what they are reported.” And added, “If you see something wrong, report it.”

He feels concerned that with all of the schools that closed right now, that they are children who are suffering. He feels that way because schools have mandatory reporters such as teachers, coaches who are legally responsible and required to report any suspicion of neglect and abuse. He wishes that it was safe for children to return to school, so children can be safer.

He suggests that if you see anything wrong, you should report it, because you never know who you are going to help. It can be anything from a bruise, to malnutrition. Dr. Phil recommends that you call the police, or you can report this to your country sheriff. You can remain anonymous, and just inform them that you live across the street, or next door to someone who is abusing someone else. You then request a wellness check to this said family.

They would make an unannounced visit, and see for themselves what is taking place in that household. We have to work together, in order to help others. Your call can just save someone’s life, and be their saving grace.

Day 118 of 192

This is Sunday’s item.

I feel really bad for keeping things for so long that I have not used. Before Covid-19 my Grandparents went to a lot of church sales, and garage sales, so she would buy a whole bunch of books and clothes that I would like. This explains why I used to have a lot of things. Plus three years I loved going clothes shopping.

Now I am finally starting to go through my possessions. I feel bad for holding on to this for so long. I feel that someone else could have enjoyed wearing this, instead of it being stashed away in a container for several years.

It’s a cute sweater, but it’s too small for me now.

But now I am freeing myself from this item, and I am super happy about it.

Day Thirteen

We should appreciate the days that we don’t have any plans. Although, I know during a time like this, it may be difficult to be grateful, but we are able to slow things down and just be in the moment.

It is such a relaxing thought of being present and not have to worry about having plans. It is a bit new to me, because I do like to plan things. This is a new scenery to me.

This is one of the positive changes Covid-19 has brought upon me, and with that, I am grateful.

Tonight, I’m enjoying my evening with my boyfriend, watching a movie. And there us no place I would want to be.

Let’s utilize this time, to be present, to really be mindful. Let’s learn to go with the flow.